I'm with you on the "gift is NOT a verb!!!" club. ;) My mood this season has varied wildly with the weather— when it's sunny (like today) I feel that all is well, but on gray days I can barely drag myself out of bed. I don't ever have a tree or decorate, but I like going to church and lighting candles and seeing the city's holiday lights up. Thanks for the reminder that it's okay to feel what we feel, whatever that is. And Blessed Advent!
Reflecting on your words about the holidays and not feel the Christmas spirit - not being for enforced gladness - I realized that my favorite part of the Christmas season is coming home in the evenings to decorate living room, turning on the tree lights, hopefully it's cold enough for a fire, and just soaking it in. I'm a minimalist when it comes to decorating, but the nativity scene on the mantle, stockings hung below, and the lights on the decorated tree are essential. With some Christmas music on in the background - everything from All I Want for Christmas to Silent Night are welcome - it just seems right that the darkness is as welcome as the light; the good and bad memories; the dreams dashed and the hope for dreams to come. That space feels whole and holy. A little egg nog is nice, too. ;-) And when it's all packed up on January 1, it feels like that wholeness separates into fragments again.
Well, I guess I am a weirdo too, because I see theology as well as social-history analogy in Wicked. I loved going with my daughter and granddaughter to see it and we’ve been discussing if we should go a second time.
Wicked! Jeff, I was prepared to like it. I mean, I love the stage production and the soundtrack, so I knew I would. But I was blown away. I did not expect to be captivated by Jonathan Bailey (my apologies!!). I thought Ariana Grande would be too annoying. I figured Cynthia Erivo would be good but not Idina Menzel. The casting is spot on. The additions they made to the show add rather than subtract or distract. The choreography and cinematography and all the things that get noticed in awards shows. It’s perfection. All of it. (Except for the crime inflicted on all of us by forcing us to wait until next year for the rest. With a brief intermission, I would have happily sat in that seat for six hours to watch it all. If theaters plan to host a back-to-back viewing next November, they can take my money right now.)
I nearly stood on my chair in a rousing ovation when Erivo hit the last notes of “Defying Gravity.”
(Also, the snarky person in me is here for the timeliness of the film and its messages. And how mad some people are about it. But really, that’s all just icing on the cake.)
Wow, did I ever need this today, so thank you. Permission... to feel whatever it is I am feeling in the moment and just going with it, I do love your thoughts on the darkness and light. I love Max Richter. Hate the word gifting. Yet one more word trend. Everything you said and more. Thank you Jeff and I love that you still have that parka. What a wonderful gift.
First, my heartfelt gratitude to you for acknowledging your Seasonal Grumpiness/sadness and assuring us that ALL of our feelings are OK; gives me a deep sigh of relief. And second: you cracked me up with The Jonathan Bailey Movie! I LOVED it, whichever title you choose, and appreciate your reminder of Bailey/Fiyero’s magnificent “rizz”ness…Also am enlightened about the themes in Ecclesiastes, and think the film tackles Good vs. Evil, persecution for doing the Right Thing, vulnerability, and much more SO beautifully. Thank you for making whatever I’m feeling (often in the dark) not only okay, but acceptable and welcomed, and for being a fellow Wicked fan! 💖
I’m right there with you with a disdain for forced merriment and, really, forced fun any time of the year. My husband reminds me often of one of his favorites things I’ve said…one year when our holiday schedule was particularly ridiculous, I said “I love baby Jesus but I don’t give a damn about Christmas.” Now that I own a small retail business, I have a love/hate relationship with the entire holiday season. It’s the holiday shopping season that will make me profitable for the year overall. But dealing with those shoppers daily makes me even less inclined to holiday cheer. I always appreciate your authentic and articulate voice, especially during the times when I’m not feeling what the world tells us we should feel.
I'm grumpy this year too, for some similar and some different reasons, and Sufjan Steven's "Songs for Christmas" set hits just the right janky tone, so it's on repeat for who knows how long. Taking the 30,000-foot liturgical view, I know that "missing Christmas" doesn't unsettle much, but I still have these panic moments that I'm doing it wrong by not falling head-first into the fray. But any hint of binary thinking these days has become a gentle call back to the messy middle to which I have committed myself (even at/about Christmas) and that grounds me again. What a world. I'm here for it.
One of my frustrations with the tiny snippets of Christmas story we have is that it's so easy to forget that they don't convey everything that happened—all the emotions, all the action, all the messiness that inevitably comes with marriage and childbirth and travel. It must have been so much more complicated than a Christmas pageant could ever convey—and when I remember to imagine what could have filled the white space in the story, I feel a bit better.
This year I'm so overwhelmed with all that needs to be done, I feel like I've hardly to had the bandwidth to enjoy Christmas. The one thing I've held on to is Mary pondering things in her heart. I'm trying to ponder my own life as well, and any small sign of God that I stumble across. Thanks for your perspective.
Thanks so much for this beautiful post which put words to much of what I've been feeling recently. My wife and I were just talking about how maybe it's "all of the above" right now.
Since you asked about hope, for me I've been fueled by a forced reframing of how I think about hope. I'm an astronomer, and I've spend a lot of time trying to tease out signal in all the static of the universe. We live in a universe with a lot of noise and a lot of empty space, and sometimes I think hope is the little glimpses I see in the static, or potential signals I get excited about. But recently I've been thinking that I don't think that's right. I think hope has less to do with the glimpses or the light rays, and more with how we approach the noise, and the fact that we keep on looking.
Working retail, division in relationships with my parents post election, unmet expectations/desires around family planning for holidays, marital conflicts have made me feel less than merry about Christmas. Wicked has been my joy! Instead of holiday tunes, I’m listening to the soundtrack on repeat.
I'm with you on the "gift is NOT a verb!!!" club. ;) My mood this season has varied wildly with the weather— when it's sunny (like today) I feel that all is well, but on gray days I can barely drag myself out of bed. I don't ever have a tree or decorate, but I like going to church and lighting candles and seeing the city's holiday lights up. Thanks for the reminder that it's okay to feel what we feel, whatever that is. And Blessed Advent!
Sitting here in tears, snuggled with a blanket amidst the gray, deeply grateful for every single word you’ve shared. Exactly what I needed. Thank you.
Reflecting on your words about the holidays and not feel the Christmas spirit - not being for enforced gladness - I realized that my favorite part of the Christmas season is coming home in the evenings to decorate living room, turning on the tree lights, hopefully it's cold enough for a fire, and just soaking it in. I'm a minimalist when it comes to decorating, but the nativity scene on the mantle, stockings hung below, and the lights on the decorated tree are essential. With some Christmas music on in the background - everything from All I Want for Christmas to Silent Night are welcome - it just seems right that the darkness is as welcome as the light; the good and bad memories; the dreams dashed and the hope for dreams to come. That space feels whole and holy. A little egg nog is nice, too. ;-) And when it's all packed up on January 1, it feels like that wholeness separates into fragments again.
Well, I guess I am a weirdo too, because I see theology as well as social-history analogy in Wicked. I loved going with my daughter and granddaughter to see it and we’ve been discussing if we should go a second time.
Wicked! Jeff, I was prepared to like it. I mean, I love the stage production and the soundtrack, so I knew I would. But I was blown away. I did not expect to be captivated by Jonathan Bailey (my apologies!!). I thought Ariana Grande would be too annoying. I figured Cynthia Erivo would be good but not Idina Menzel. The casting is spot on. The additions they made to the show add rather than subtract or distract. The choreography and cinematography and all the things that get noticed in awards shows. It’s perfection. All of it. (Except for the crime inflicted on all of us by forcing us to wait until next year for the rest. With a brief intermission, I would have happily sat in that seat for six hours to watch it all. If theaters plan to host a back-to-back viewing next November, they can take my money right now.)
I nearly stood on my chair in a rousing ovation when Erivo hit the last notes of “Defying Gravity.”
(Also, the snarky person in me is here for the timeliness of the film and its messages. And how mad some people are about it. But really, that’s all just icing on the cake.)
Wow, did I ever need this today, so thank you. Permission... to feel whatever it is I am feeling in the moment and just going with it, I do love your thoughts on the darkness and light. I love Max Richter. Hate the word gifting. Yet one more word trend. Everything you said and more. Thank you Jeff and I love that you still have that parka. What a wonderful gift.
First, my heartfelt gratitude to you for acknowledging your Seasonal Grumpiness/sadness and assuring us that ALL of our feelings are OK; gives me a deep sigh of relief. And second: you cracked me up with The Jonathan Bailey Movie! I LOVED it, whichever title you choose, and appreciate your reminder of Bailey/Fiyero’s magnificent “rizz”ness…Also am enlightened about the themes in Ecclesiastes, and think the film tackles Good vs. Evil, persecution for doing the Right Thing, vulnerability, and much more SO beautifully. Thank you for making whatever I’m feeling (often in the dark) not only okay, but acceptable and welcomed, and for being a fellow Wicked fan! 💖
Willing to accept gift as a verb IF we can get rid of ask as a noun. It's a question or a request! 😅
God, gift us liberation from words that annoy us. This is the ask we have of you.
(No?)
Hehe nailed it
Nah—let’s get of both of ‘em!
I’m right there with you with a disdain for forced merriment and, really, forced fun any time of the year. My husband reminds me often of one of his favorites things I’ve said…one year when our holiday schedule was particularly ridiculous, I said “I love baby Jesus but I don’t give a damn about Christmas.” Now that I own a small retail business, I have a love/hate relationship with the entire holiday season. It’s the holiday shopping season that will make me profitable for the year overall. But dealing with those shoppers daily makes me even less inclined to holiday cheer. I always appreciate your authentic and articulate voice, especially during the times when I’m not feeling what the world tells us we should feel.
Forced fun is the worst fun.
I'm grumpy this year too, for some similar and some different reasons, and Sufjan Steven's "Songs for Christmas" set hits just the right janky tone, so it's on repeat for who knows how long. Taking the 30,000-foot liturgical view, I know that "missing Christmas" doesn't unsettle much, but I still have these panic moments that I'm doing it wrong by not falling head-first into the fray. But any hint of binary thinking these days has become a gentle call back to the messy middle to which I have committed myself (even at/about Christmas) and that grounds me again. What a world. I'm here for it.
One of my frustrations with the tiny snippets of Christmas story we have is that it's so easy to forget that they don't convey everything that happened—all the emotions, all the action, all the messiness that inevitably comes with marriage and childbirth and travel. It must have been so much more complicated than a Christmas pageant could ever convey—and when I remember to imagine what could have filled the white space in the story, I feel a bit better.
This year I'm so overwhelmed with all that needs to be done, I feel like I've hardly to had the bandwidth to enjoy Christmas. The one thing I've held on to is Mary pondering things in her heart. I'm trying to ponder my own life as well, and any small sign of God that I stumble across. Thanks for your perspective.
Thanks so much for this beautiful post which put words to much of what I've been feeling recently. My wife and I were just talking about how maybe it's "all of the above" right now.
Since you asked about hope, for me I've been fueled by a forced reframing of how I think about hope. I'm an astronomer, and I've spend a lot of time trying to tease out signal in all the static of the universe. We live in a universe with a lot of noise and a lot of empty space, and sometimes I think hope is the little glimpses I see in the static, or potential signals I get excited about. But recently I've been thinking that I don't think that's right. I think hope has less to do with the glimpses or the light rays, and more with how we approach the noise, and the fact that we keep on looking.
honesty, grace and the spectre of snow on Christmas is helping my spirits
The cold weather we are having in Houston, Texas fuels my hope.
Margie Higgins
Did you go to a "singing along allowed" version of wicked? Wonder if that would have had any ecclesiastes impact.
Absolutely not!
Working retail, division in relationships with my parents post election, unmet expectations/desires around family planning for holidays, marital conflicts have made me feel less than merry about Christmas. Wicked has been my joy! Instead of holiday tunes, I’m listening to the soundtrack on repeat.
Sending you all my best wishes for gentleness and patience amidst all of that!