I grew up with three different fathers, in 14 places before I turned 15. Not a lot of cultural identity. But I married a wonderful man with a large Italian family, including a Sicilian great grandmother who taught me to make ravioli. Almost 50 years later, I still make it on special occasions. Every time,I thank God for the gift of a stable family where food is a celebration and recipes are passed along.
I have occasionally seen wonton referred to as "Chinese ravioli," and it hurts my heart every single time. I am so glad that you learned how to make ravioli. Do you do the pasta from scratch?
I do. And I have a special rolling pin that is a copy of Grandma’s that she brought from Sicily. I also have my mother-in-law’s pasta machine which was her mother’s. It rolls out the pasta with gears that make it thinner and thinner. Our filling has ground beef, Parmesan, spinach, and ricotta mixed together (Grandma added pig’s brains. We don’t!). The other recipe that is particular to our family is a cold lasagna with a sauce made from bread, Parmesan, ground walnuts, and garlic. It is called pasta Kanusa (Sp?) which I am told means pasta with nuts. We all it Christmas pasta because that is when we make it.
Cold. I have looked for a recipe like it for years, and only found a warm walnut sauce that was similar. It is curiously addicting! And critical that the cook taste the garlic since the strength varies from bulb to bulb…
This is such lovely imagery in reading about your cooking Jeff. Your spirituality of cooking also comes through clearly. I remember when my Chinese wife suffered through won ton and dumpling making lessons with me and my undexterous American fingers. I also remember when my mother-in-law would meet our son after school and before swim practice with a basket of dumplings. There is a great scene in "Crazy Rich Asians" where the kids and Moms are gathered around the table to make dumplings. "And then you eat the baby." If ever in Houston check out Goode and Company for their barbecue and puh-kahn pie. You might just want to thank your lucky stars, that you're from Texas. Your essay made me think if people stopped and shared a meal (preparing, cooking and eating) they might be less likely to hate. Safe travels and bon Appetit.
I loved reading about wontons (hunduns) and the passing down of the technique parent to child. I watched this at the lunch table this summer when my two grandchildren helped themselves to our own chicken's hard cooked eggs. They peeled them and placed them on a plate and took a fork and started squishing them just like they learned them from their mother, Anne, and like I taught her and I learned from my mother. It's nice to think of those connections - thanks for the opportunity - it brought a smile. Yes, prayers go with you to Dallas as you share love to all who need it.
Praying for you. That not only would your words be an encouragement to those who need it but that you would be encouraged yourself. And something I appreciate immensely about you is that you don’t always talk about gender and sexuality but that you are honest about who you are and are looking to be who you are called to be. This is the work God wants from us. To believe.
Ahhhh. Love the idea of eating clouds, but to be frank I adore the idea of eating oppressor dumplings. I keep saying there is a Ministry of Pasta waiting to be born through me. Enemy Dumplings might now get included. We can remember suffering and chaos in food, yes. Seems right. Especially if it is delicious and aromatic. What delightful resistance.
Beautiful reflections. Those memories are so precious, and the line about isolation and the connection to those who came before us is so powerful.
I think for me, it's connected to the LGBTQIA thing too because we are part of that legacy of liberation as well, a messy and complicated lineage of sorts working out our faith despite all odds. When I think about how disappointed my blood ancestors would be in me for being who I am, I remember there's another legacy I'm part of, of people who would understand.
"Messy and complicated".... I feel that on a deep level. Sometimes I forget about that legacy and lineage, because I've felt on the margins even of the LGBTQIA community. But you're right. Of course you're right!
I think a key for me was seeing my people specifically, connecting with ace history through Twitter accounts and blogs, because we're not ever in the studio-produced Pride documentaries or known among the big historical names. But we *were* there, and erased, and it took more digging to find because we're doing it ourselves through library archives and documents. Not saying that would be the same recipe for you since we're all different, but just empathy for that feeling and I agree about margins not being the most welcoming place to be in the community, especially when the gatekeeping and bullying and coordinated trolling efforts are coming equally from inside the community as outside of it. <3
Jeff, thanks for always giving me a smile. I love thee words of yours” As the dumplings pile up on a plate, I rebuke the lie of isolation that can be so tempting and remember that my forebears are still with me. I remember happy moments from my childhood—the sound of laughter and the scent of simmering stock”.
My memories of having my mom sizzle a big sigh roast always causes my mouth to water. I make her pot roast to honor my dad and know that he is still with me.
Thank you Jeff for bringing your stories and your whole self to the Center Peace conference. I'm so glad you said yes to Sally. Your gentle presence there and your stories about your relationship with your Dad was especially touching to me, as I resonated with much of the quiet, rarely-verbal interactions that I had with my Dad. In a few weeks it'll be two years since his passing, and not a day goes by that I don't miss him. Lastly, if you hadn't said yes to being at Center Peace, I would've literally been the only Chinese person there ;) Enjoy the wonton dinner with your friend, and safe travels back home.
I love the way food, and cooking food specifically connect you to your heritage. It’s just so soul-filling for me to read and then process my own culinary roots in my family history.
For us, it’s Scandinavian foods that bring us together. My mom and I have made lefse (a tortilla-like potato bread) every Thanksgiving and Christmas, and when family is in town we often make Aeblskiver which are round little pancakes you eat with raspberry jam and powdered sugar. I have my daughter and my nephew and his wife coming into town tomorrow, and I’m already thinking about what we will cook and enjoy together. Having just finished a kitchen remodel that took 4 months, I’d forgotten how preparing food and enjoying it with someone fills my soul.
Safe travels to Dallas (where my kids and grandkids live!) and I know your message of love will challenge the hearers they way it always does me. Prayers and good vibes for you Jeff.
A diagnosis of a allergic throat disease (EOE) a year ago has required me to not eat wheat or dairy. That sort of killed most ties to my family foods that were passed down...my grandmother's chicken and noodles, her mother's molasses cookies, my Mom's pies, my Dad's potatoes soup....but I've still got popcorn, the conversations of whether you put salt and pepper or sugar on tomatoes or weather a small oval purple fruit is a prune or a plum. Those moments make me smile just as much. But I miss the combo of maple syrup and peanut butter on bread so much.....😂🤣
Prayers go with you to Dallas. May it be soul building for you and all who attend. Haven't been to Texas in decades but my sister moved to Frisco so a trip will happen one day soon....thanks for the BBQ tip!
While I was teaching at in international school in China, we had an annual tradition of making jiao zi as a school family for Spring Festival. I loved hearing stories from our Chinese staff of their family traditions during this time. And now, all I want to do is go find some for dinner.
I grew up with three different fathers, in 14 places before I turned 15. Not a lot of cultural identity. But I married a wonderful man with a large Italian family, including a Sicilian great grandmother who taught me to make ravioli. Almost 50 years later, I still make it on special occasions. Every time,I thank God for the gift of a stable family where food is a celebration and recipes are passed along.
I have occasionally seen wonton referred to as "Chinese ravioli," and it hurts my heart every single time. I am so glad that you learned how to make ravioli. Do you do the pasta from scratch?
I do. And I have a special rolling pin that is a copy of Grandma’s that she brought from Sicily. I also have my mother-in-law’s pasta machine which was her mother’s. It rolls out the pasta with gears that make it thinner and thinner. Our filling has ground beef, Parmesan, spinach, and ricotta mixed together (Grandma added pig’s brains. We don’t!). The other recipe that is particular to our family is a cold lasagna with a sauce made from bread, Parmesan, ground walnuts, and garlic. It is called pasta Kanusa (Sp?) which I am told means pasta with nuts. We all it Christmas pasta because that is when we make it.
The lasagna is served cold? Or room temperature? I don't think I've had something like that.
Cold. I have looked for a recipe like it for years, and only found a warm walnut sauce that was similar. It is curiously addicting! And critical that the cook taste the garlic since the strength varies from bulb to bulb…
This is such lovely imagery in reading about your cooking Jeff. Your spirituality of cooking also comes through clearly. I remember when my Chinese wife suffered through won ton and dumpling making lessons with me and my undexterous American fingers. I also remember when my mother-in-law would meet our son after school and before swim practice with a basket of dumplings. There is a great scene in "Crazy Rich Asians" where the kids and Moms are gathered around the table to make dumplings. "And then you eat the baby." If ever in Houston check out Goode and Company for their barbecue and puh-kahn pie. You might just want to thank your lucky stars, that you're from Texas. Your essay made me think if people stopped and shared a meal (preparing, cooking and eating) they might be less likely to hate. Safe travels and bon Appetit.
I loved reading about wontons (hunduns) and the passing down of the technique parent to child. I watched this at the lunch table this summer when my two grandchildren helped themselves to our own chicken's hard cooked eggs. They peeled them and placed them on a plate and took a fork and started squishing them just like they learned them from their mother, Anne, and like I taught her and I learned from my mother. It's nice to think of those connections - thanks for the opportunity - it brought a smile. Yes, prayers go with you to Dallas as you share love to all who need it.
Praying for you. That not only would your words be an encouragement to those who need it but that you would be encouraged yourself. And something I appreciate immensely about you is that you don’t always talk about gender and sexuality but that you are honest about who you are and are looking to be who you are called to be. This is the work God wants from us. To believe.
Thank you so much!
Ahhhh. Love the idea of eating clouds, but to be frank I adore the idea of eating oppressor dumplings. I keep saying there is a Ministry of Pasta waiting to be born through me. Enemy Dumplings might now get included. We can remember suffering and chaos in food, yes. Seems right. Especially if it is delicious and aromatic. What delightful resistance.
Praying for you. And will you pray for our first cohort starting in January? 🌿
Yes, of course! Will keep you all in prayer.
Beautiful reflections. Those memories are so precious, and the line about isolation and the connection to those who came before us is so powerful.
I think for me, it's connected to the LGBTQIA thing too because we are part of that legacy of liberation as well, a messy and complicated lineage of sorts working out our faith despite all odds. When I think about how disappointed my blood ancestors would be in me for being who I am, I remember there's another legacy I'm part of, of people who would understand.
"Messy and complicated".... I feel that on a deep level. Sometimes I forget about that legacy and lineage, because I've felt on the margins even of the LGBTQIA community. But you're right. Of course you're right!
I think a key for me was seeing my people specifically, connecting with ace history through Twitter accounts and blogs, because we're not ever in the studio-produced Pride documentaries or known among the big historical names. But we *were* there, and erased, and it took more digging to find because we're doing it ourselves through library archives and documents. Not saying that would be the same recipe for you since we're all different, but just empathy for that feeling and I agree about margins not being the most welcoming place to be in the community, especially when the gatekeeping and bullying and coordinated trolling efforts are coming equally from inside the community as outside of it. <3
Oh I just noticed but that photo by name is not me. Hm?
Jeff, thanks for always giving me a smile. I love thee words of yours” As the dumplings pile up on a plate, I rebuke the lie of isolation that can be so tempting and remember that my forebears are still with me. I remember happy moments from my childhood—the sound of laughter and the scent of simmering stock”.
My memories of having my mom sizzle a big sigh roast always causes my mouth to water. I make her pot roast to honor my dad and know that he is still with me.
Thank you Jeff for bringing your stories and your whole self to the Center Peace conference. I'm so glad you said yes to Sally. Your gentle presence there and your stories about your relationship with your Dad was especially touching to me, as I resonated with much of the quiet, rarely-verbal interactions that I had with my Dad. In a few weeks it'll be two years since his passing, and not a day goes by that I don't miss him. Lastly, if you hadn't said yes to being at Center Peace, I would've literally been the only Chinese person there ;) Enjoy the wonton dinner with your friend, and safe travels back home.
I love the way food, and cooking food specifically connect you to your heritage. It’s just so soul-filling for me to read and then process my own culinary roots in my family history.
For us, it’s Scandinavian foods that bring us together. My mom and I have made lefse (a tortilla-like potato bread) every Thanksgiving and Christmas, and when family is in town we often make Aeblskiver which are round little pancakes you eat with raspberry jam and powdered sugar. I have my daughter and my nephew and his wife coming into town tomorrow, and I’m already thinking about what we will cook and enjoy together. Having just finished a kitchen remodel that took 4 months, I’d forgotten how preparing food and enjoying it with someone fills my soul.
Safe travels to Dallas (where my kids and grandkids live!) and I know your message of love will challenge the hearers they way it always does me. Prayers and good vibes for you Jeff.
This wonderful outpouring of stories flies in the face of "too many cooks in the kitchen." I am imagining the feast we could create.
A diagnosis of a allergic throat disease (EOE) a year ago has required me to not eat wheat or dairy. That sort of killed most ties to my family foods that were passed down...my grandmother's chicken and noodles, her mother's molasses cookies, my Mom's pies, my Dad's potatoes soup....but I've still got popcorn, the conversations of whether you put salt and pepper or sugar on tomatoes or weather a small oval purple fruit is a prune or a plum. Those moments make me smile just as much. But I miss the combo of maple syrup and peanut butter on bread so much.....😂🤣
Prayers go with you to Dallas. May it be soul building for you and all who attend. Haven't been to Texas in decades but my sister moved to Frisco so a trip will happen one day soon....thanks for the BBQ tip!
Wow! Thank you for sharing your terrific memories and insights! Yum, yum!
While I was teaching at in international school in China, we had an annual tradition of making jiao zi as a school family for Spring Festival. I loved hearing stories from our Chinese staff of their family traditions during this time. And now, all I want to do is go find some for dinner.