I really appreciate your perspective in Tim Keller (someone I apparently avoided knowing about until my twitter feed blew up with a wild mix of memoriums). One of the hardest addictions to combat right now seems to be this constant pull towards harsh dichotomy -we’re all demanding full allegiance or full rejection of people, ideas, experiences, even preferences. Most of life is so much more layered, filled with nuance-the beauty even more startling laying beside the rot and banal. I appreciate your recognition of that almost as much as your gentle spirit. Take care!
I appreciate how you emphasize the “both-and” of our humanity. Our brains seek to categorize into good and bad, but our challenge is to hold the tension of the two. We are complex beings but loved beyond measure. Our complexity makes the prospect of grace possible; otherwise, we would somehow assume we earned it. Thanks for a gracious eulogy that held that tension!
Hello Jeff, from your old pastor (yea, PCA 😜) and your faithfully appreciative older brother! This is a respectful and balanced memorial. One small copy edit (from one who was there!) You write: "During my high-school years in Miami, my family and I attended Immanuel, a congregation belonging to Keller’s denomination, the Presbyterian Church in America, that was planted with Redeemer’s support." But the "planting" (gardening friend) was in the reverse order. Immanuel was approached to contribute funds to the "New York City Project" (later Redeemer). An anonymous donor pledged stock options to be matched by our members, flew Tim to Miami to fill the Immanuel pulpit, then flew the two of us first-class to NYC and I attended one of the first Redeemer services at Church of the Advent Hope (SDA) and helped the Kellers move to Roosevelt Island. We remained decades-long friends and my grieving is not over a hero. As I love to say, there's only been One righteous Hero and One worthy Victim in human history - and it's not you or me! So you're shunning the hero/victim binary is admirable. We love you friend!
First, I am not going to disagree with Pearl. I learned a while ago that she is much wiser than I am.
Each time I do a funeral I am reminded how utterly complicated our lives are and that the very qualities that may make us beloved by some may hurt others. The parent who was always volunteering may have children who feel like they were never home. A parent who made time for others may have left kids waiting for them.
It is fair to remember and not to cover up the pain Tim Keller’s theological views have caused others; just as it fair to acknowledge and to give thanks for what he did that was good. As you said - and he would not have denied - Tim Keller was human.
I was never interested in becoming a Tim Keller fan. But after reading your review Jeff I no wonder if I could have at least read a sermon or two, I’m 85 and still learning. I feel you are my brother and I always read your stuff. Wilma rabidoux Hudsonville mi. Hillcrest CRC
Pearl’s remark about being able to separate a teacher’s lessons and their moral perspectives is such a valuable anecdote to me. Even though I try to remind myself there’s typically room for nuance in everything, it’s hard when the biblical thought leaders you’ve become accustomed to for so long reveal negative biases. In this way, I’d like to learn to be grateful for the teachings I’ve gleaned from my childhood church while being honest about the things I haven’t appreciated - and hold those in contention in a way that remains respectful.
Jeff, your words were thought provoking. Sarah Besseys words as well.
Though I did not follow Keller very much, I respect both how you and Sarah could articulate so well.
and your friend Pearl sounds so lovely and wise.
I am starting a series at our church on forgiveness and grace and moving forward. I found your words to be healing and granting me peace of mind as I work through my own journey of grief.
thank you for generously giving your thoughts - and the link to Sarah Bessy's reflection. Love all your posts so very very much (but am shy to post/respond), but this one was particularly close to my heart, so here is my detailed thank you: A very loved member of my family who is a clergy member shares some of Keller's views, particularly those against women and LGBTQ full inclusion....and this is so painful to me (massive understatement!). But I'm not able to articulate all those feels....so reading you and Sarah being so articulate on the pain, the conflict, the whole mess of it -- your words were a gift for me because you were able to untangle and make clear so much that I can't articulate. Here's what I'm going to hold onto and keep repeating: "He helped people. He hurt people. For some of us, he both helped and hurt." That's true of all of us, it's true of my family member in particular (that heavy role of clergy magnifies the ability to heal and to hurt), and it's true of all of our churches, no matter how loving and inclusive we try and be. So next time I read of one my family member's TRULY AGGRAVATING facebook sermon posts (because I can't stop reading them...ugh...I try but can't...), I'll remember those other sermon posts when he is able to speak words of grace and love in a way I can receive, and I'll be able to turn my hurt to prayer, and I hope it's OK that I'll use some of what you offered to us: I will be praying this: "well, Lord, there he goes again...he's helping some of Your people; he's hurting some of Your people; and for some he's doing both. This I don't understand, but I'm praying that You do. And p.s. please lead the injured to safety and healing. Amen." Thank you again for speaking truths we need to hear., and for being some of the safety and healing that so many of us need.
Thank you Jeff. You have taught me so much, and continue to teach me, about holding the both/and in tension. Someone can both help and hurt, and you and Sarah both point me to the remembrance that I do the same, just not in a public way. While I do believe that those preaching and teaching should be held to a higher standard of care for people, they also are humans. And we can offer grace, despite our differences and despite the ways they hurt those we love.
I think the kindest thing we can do for ourselves and others is to not participate in the vitriol of polarization that seems to take over every conversation on social media.
Also, I love the beautiful grace you showed us through Pearl. So unique and gentle but with a strength that refuses to back down from who she is in God.
Thankful for your reflections on Tim Keller's death, my friend. Your generous and honest perspective helps me process my thoughts and feelings. Thanks for including Sarah's reflections too. They were also a gift. I look forward to your writing each week. They are food for my journey. I give thanks to God for you, Jeff!
Hi Jeff, I very much appreciate your Notes. I think it was through Sarah Bessy or maybe it was Rachel Held that I was introduced to your writing. Both Sarah and Rachel were touchstones for me as I slid then tumbled away from 30 years of fundamentalism. Sarah’s essay on Keller moved me to tears (as her writing is wont to do 😊). When I heard that Keller had passed, my immediate reaction defaulted to hurt and good riddance. Then, I remembered (thank you Sarah) the difficulty of holding space for the other when the hurt is fully realized. On reflection of all that I’ve read on this, I think your words have impacted me the most: “I’ve long believed that one of the most audacious things a person can do is to insert himself into another’s relationship with the divine.” Yes and Amen.
Thank you for this far-reaching, honest and very helpful piece of writing. Only today I was discussing with my 30 year old son about how I used to be so blinkered about what being a ‘Christian’ looked like! Like I used to not like my kids to read Harry Potter because of witches, and other skewed thinking that I picked up from church. My husband discovered very early in my Christian walk that there was too much hypocrisy and he would have nothing to do with church.
I’m in full agreement with your articulate and thought-provoking piece. I am very grateful to have read it and that it confirms and helps my thought process, so that I can better explain / articulate to others if/when a discussion comes up in the future.
And yes we are only human and that’s how God made us.
Even if the thinking was skewed, I also want to honor the protective parental heart that didn't want her kids to read something that might put them in danger. I hope you can be gentle with your past self and recognize the good intentions, even amidst the less-than-desirable behavior.
This paragraph spoke to me deeply as a person who often writes of place from "outsider" perspectives:
"There are ten thousand ways to tell the story of any place. Mine was just one—and just because it didn’t hew to the standard narratives that give primacy to those who have been seen as wielding conventional power and holding traditional wealth doesn’t make it inaccurate."
This was something I learned as a magazine editor. When I first started editing, I would reshape every story into my version. Eventually I learned that my job was rather to make it the best-possible version of that writer's piece, not my own.
I first heard this song sung by the Kokopelli choir in Alberta in about 2011. The choir was made up of young people ages 14-24. As they were learning the song some found it too "easy". Then the older members realized that most of younger choristers would not remember the 2004 Thai tsunami for which this song was written. During the concert, a slide show was paired with the music.
I really appreciate your perspective in Tim Keller (someone I apparently avoided knowing about until my twitter feed blew up with a wild mix of memoriums). One of the hardest addictions to combat right now seems to be this constant pull towards harsh dichotomy -we’re all demanding full allegiance or full rejection of people, ideas, experiences, even preferences. Most of life is so much more layered, filled with nuance-the beauty even more startling laying beside the rot and banal. I appreciate your recognition of that almost as much as your gentle spirit. Take care!
I appreciate how you emphasize the “both-and” of our humanity. Our brains seek to categorize into good and bad, but our challenge is to hold the tension of the two. We are complex beings but loved beyond measure. Our complexity makes the prospect of grace possible; otherwise, we would somehow assume we earned it. Thanks for a gracious eulogy that held that tension!
Hello Jeff, from your old pastor (yea, PCA 😜) and your faithfully appreciative older brother! This is a respectful and balanced memorial. One small copy edit (from one who was there!) You write: "During my high-school years in Miami, my family and I attended Immanuel, a congregation belonging to Keller’s denomination, the Presbyterian Church in America, that was planted with Redeemer’s support." But the "planting" (gardening friend) was in the reverse order. Immanuel was approached to contribute funds to the "New York City Project" (later Redeemer). An anonymous donor pledged stock options to be matched by our members, flew Tim to Miami to fill the Immanuel pulpit, then flew the two of us first-class to NYC and I attended one of the first Redeemer services at Church of the Advent Hope (SDA) and helped the Kellers move to Roosevelt Island. We remained decades-long friends and my grieving is not over a hero. As I love to say, there's only been One righteous Hero and One worthy Victim in human history - and it's not you or me! So you're shunning the hero/victim binary is admirable. We love you friend!
Thank you for the factcheck, Pastor Al! I will correct.
First, I am not going to disagree with Pearl. I learned a while ago that she is much wiser than I am.
Each time I do a funeral I am reminded how utterly complicated our lives are and that the very qualities that may make us beloved by some may hurt others. The parent who was always volunteering may have children who feel like they were never home. A parent who made time for others may have left kids waiting for them.
It is fair to remember and not to cover up the pain Tim Keller’s theological views have caused others; just as it fair to acknowledge and to give thanks for what he did that was good. As you said - and he would not have denied - Tim Keller was human.
lolol always a good idea not to disagree with Pearl.
I was never interested in becoming a Tim Keller fan. But after reading your review Jeff I no wonder if I could have at least read a sermon or two, I’m 85 and still learning. I feel you are my brother and I always read your stuff. Wilma rabidoux Hudsonville mi. Hillcrest CRC
Pearl’s remark about being able to separate a teacher’s lessons and their moral perspectives is such a valuable anecdote to me. Even though I try to remind myself there’s typically room for nuance in everything, it’s hard when the biblical thought leaders you’ve become accustomed to for so long reveal negative biases. In this way, I’d like to learn to be grateful for the teachings I’ve gleaned from my childhood church while being honest about the things I haven’t appreciated - and hold those in contention in a way that remains respectful.
Jeff, your words were thought provoking. Sarah Besseys words as well.
Though I did not follow Keller very much, I respect both how you and Sarah could articulate so well.
and your friend Pearl sounds so lovely and wise.
I am starting a series at our church on forgiveness and grace and moving forward. I found your words to be healing and granting me peace of mind as I work through my own journey of grief.
thank you for generously giving your thoughts - and the link to Sarah Bessy's reflection. Love all your posts so very very much (but am shy to post/respond), but this one was particularly close to my heart, so here is my detailed thank you: A very loved member of my family who is a clergy member shares some of Keller's views, particularly those against women and LGBTQ full inclusion....and this is so painful to me (massive understatement!). But I'm not able to articulate all those feels....so reading you and Sarah being so articulate on the pain, the conflict, the whole mess of it -- your words were a gift for me because you were able to untangle and make clear so much that I can't articulate. Here's what I'm going to hold onto and keep repeating: "He helped people. He hurt people. For some of us, he both helped and hurt." That's true of all of us, it's true of my family member in particular (that heavy role of clergy magnifies the ability to heal and to hurt), and it's true of all of our churches, no matter how loving and inclusive we try and be. So next time I read of one my family member's TRULY AGGRAVATING facebook sermon posts (because I can't stop reading them...ugh...I try but can't...), I'll remember those other sermon posts when he is able to speak words of grace and love in a way I can receive, and I'll be able to turn my hurt to prayer, and I hope it's OK that I'll use some of what you offered to us: I will be praying this: "well, Lord, there he goes again...he's helping some of Your people; he's hurting some of Your people; and for some he's doing both. This I don't understand, but I'm praying that You do. And p.s. please lead the injured to safety and healing. Amen." Thank you again for speaking truths we need to hear., and for being some of the safety and healing that so many of us need.
Thank you Jeff. You have taught me so much, and continue to teach me, about holding the both/and in tension. Someone can both help and hurt, and you and Sarah both point me to the remembrance that I do the same, just not in a public way. While I do believe that those preaching and teaching should be held to a higher standard of care for people, they also are humans. And we can offer grace, despite our differences and despite the ways they hurt those we love.
I think the kindest thing we can do for ourselves and others is to not participate in the vitriol of polarization that seems to take over every conversation on social media.
Also, I love the beautiful grace you showed us through Pearl. So unique and gentle but with a strength that refuses to back down from who she is in God.
Thankful for your reflections on Tim Keller's death, my friend. Your generous and honest perspective helps me process my thoughts and feelings. Thanks for including Sarah's reflections too. They were also a gift. I look forward to your writing each week. They are food for my journey. I give thanks to God for you, Jeff!
Hi Jeff, I very much appreciate your Notes. I think it was through Sarah Bessy or maybe it was Rachel Held that I was introduced to your writing. Both Sarah and Rachel were touchstones for me as I slid then tumbled away from 30 years of fundamentalism. Sarah’s essay on Keller moved me to tears (as her writing is wont to do 😊). When I heard that Keller had passed, my immediate reaction defaulted to hurt and good riddance. Then, I remembered (thank you Sarah) the difficulty of holding space for the other when the hurt is fully realized. On reflection of all that I’ve read on this, I think your words have impacted me the most: “I’ve long believed that one of the most audacious things a person can do is to insert himself into another’s relationship with the divine.” Yes and Amen.
Thank you for this far-reaching, honest and very helpful piece of writing. Only today I was discussing with my 30 year old son about how I used to be so blinkered about what being a ‘Christian’ looked like! Like I used to not like my kids to read Harry Potter because of witches, and other skewed thinking that I picked up from church. My husband discovered very early in my Christian walk that there was too much hypocrisy and he would have nothing to do with church.
I’m in full agreement with your articulate and thought-provoking piece. I am very grateful to have read it and that it confirms and helps my thought process, so that I can better explain / articulate to others if/when a discussion comes up in the future.
And yes we are only human and that’s how God made us.
Here’s to loving each other better! 💙
Even if the thinking was skewed, I also want to honor the protective parental heart that didn't want her kids to read something that might put them in danger. I hope you can be gentle with your past self and recognize the good intentions, even amidst the less-than-desirable behavior.
This paragraph spoke to me deeply as a person who often writes of place from "outsider" perspectives:
"There are ten thousand ways to tell the story of any place. Mine was just one—and just because it didn’t hew to the standard narratives that give primacy to those who have been seen as wielding conventional power and holding traditional wealth doesn’t make it inaccurate."
Thank you 🙏🏻
This was something I learned as a magazine editor. When I first started editing, I would reshape every story into my version. Eventually I learned that my job was rather to make it the best-possible version of that writer's piece, not my own.
I love your perspective and can’t wait to read more. It opens up my thought process and encourages me to be more understanding ❤️ thanks
This song carries us in our grief.
I first heard this song sung by the Kokopelli choir in Alberta in about 2011. The choir was made up of young people ages 14-24. As they were learning the song some found it too "easy". Then the older members realized that most of younger choristers would not remember the 2004 Thai tsunami for which this song was written. During the concert, a slide show was paired with the music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuvbj__D79w
Jeff, thanks for the article. I agree and the perspectives given has only helped me to understand with more grace.