Some fragmented thoughts on what it means to be at home, the beginnings of a garden, the new show "Heartstopper," the resilience of a wild ecosystem, and AAPI Heritage Month
Folks, I am very gratified by your encouragement—and also please know that I didn't mean to be begging for affirmation, and I hope it did not come across that way! Writing can be such a lonely life, particularly when certain things are said that reinforce one's fears of isolation, and I am very thankful for the ways in which you have helped bulldoze that isolation today.
As a straight white woman with (grown) kids, I say phooey to the literary agent. Your writing speaks to me. As someone who very much is not into my feelings and can be a shallow thinker, I learn so much by reading how you wrestle with the big questions. Voices such as yours are so needed. I’m so glad I found you, Fozzie and Tristan (in no particular order-believe me Tristan!) Your writings have helped me understand the Eeyores in my life.
I watched the first five episodes of Heartstopper yesterday after your recommendation (was it on Evolving Faith or Instagram? I can't find it in either one). I have to say, you are getting quite the reputation in my house for good advice: My husband and I started listening to Micha Boyett's The Slow Way podcast on your recommendation, too, and it's been a source of joy and peace in our morning couch-sits, as we call them. Thank you for sharing her with us. And thank you, too, for mentioning Heartstopper the other day. This has been a super tough week in my house, including resigning from my job, receiving bad news about my autistic high school sophomore's educational trajectory, getting rear-ended, and spending the better part of the day in the ER with my husband for kidney stones...whew. The show has been a much-needed respite these past two days and a lovely excuse to shed some tears. I love how it tugs at heart-strings without creating more drama than is necessary. The characters are beautiful people and I just want to hug all of them.
I understand the theory behind what your literary agent said, but also find your writing so relatable. As one of those straight white women she mentioned, I find so much common ground in your writing. It is comforting to read your essays, stumble on something I have thought or felt, and realize I am not the only one who feels that way. Keep writing, your people are out here.
Relatable? Isn't being human relatable? I'm a straight, white, middle aged, middle class woman who has lived in the Bible belt for half my life. I NEED to read and learn from those who aren't those things. I long to understand, learn & grow. I have never been content to just hear from those who look or think like me. It's probably why I don't fit with my demographics. Please keep writing & know some of us are eternally grateful for the honesty in which you share.
Not only in your pontifications on home and the ecology of it but also in the little things like installing a new toilet seat and your musings on what you watch or read.
I've become rather picky about reading writers * who make me feel at home* and that's how you make me feel. Even though I don't have your same experiences. You create a sense of sacred familiarity that makes me want to give thanks and also take action. Both on the things I understand and those I can't fully. But because you truly related them to me I want to engage.
Heading your way Saturday. I've never been to Michigan. A week with the Rienstras has me reaching deep and hoping to find a new home away from home in Holland for a few days A place of sacred familiarity.
Where should I eat lunch Sunday? I'll be cramming in some last pages and strolling amongst tulips. Peace.
I'd like to say that I have commented on your blogs in the past; honestly, not sure. I will say, though, that everything of yours that I have read - EVERYTHING - has moved me or inspired me in some way. I am a straight white grandmother, and I almost had to stop mid-read to comment, so mad at that literary agent was I! You came on my radar through Rachel, Evolving Faith... during a time when my rethinking of all I believed in was taking a tumble and getting reconfigured. Your book was an eye-opening adventure for me, and got me to follow you on Instagram and Twitter and subscribe to your email newsletter. I read what you write partly because I lived in Grand Rapids for 3 years, and it's fun to reminisce through your words. I also read what you write to learn about your culture, the food - THE FOOD! I read what you write because I enjoy the way that you write, and so appreciate your sharings from the literary, music, and screen worlds. If I haven't said it before, thank you. Thank you so much for all you have given me and continue to give me, a 67-year-old woman who loves to learn. I will try to comment more frequently.
I agree with the fellow commenters that I always feel some excitement when I see your newsletter in my inbox. I like to save it and read it when I can savor it.
I've thought about the home question a lot. During Hurricane Harvey we were separated from our house for about 2 weeks (no damage, just couldn't get there because of water). There were a lot of acquaintances who were so excited to be back in their homes. I just didn't feel it. I'm learning I define home more by who I am with than where I am at.
Jeff, thank you for your words and your reflections. Thank you for taking the time to share them. Your writing really is beautiful....and so is your speaking! I listened to the first episode of Season 2 of the EF podcast. You may not be a fan of speaking, but thank you for gifting us with your spoken words as well.
I too do not binge TV shows often, but I watched all of Heartstopper this week and cried through the last scene when Olivia Coleman told me...I mean, her son...that he was loved and everything would be ok. As someone who doesn't have the courage to be out to my family, I wept at the thought that people get to experience this. It made me wondrously happy and desperately sad.
I have been reading your newsletter, “Notes of a Make-Believe Farmer” since January 2021. The last newsletter, “Returning Home” impacted me. I am that “white woman with kids” whom your editor referred to. But, I include your book and your newsletter as vehicles that have helped me to see things differently from the viewpoint from which I come. My mind, spirit and soul have been turned upside down. I don’t think the turmoil is over and I haven’t completely settled, but I am on the journey. And it is never too late, I am 63 years old.
I wanted to encourage you. Your editor said “it would never be enough for my writing to be beautiful.” I have found your words beautiful and useful. I have posted on a sticky note, “a love that still insists on showing up” from your newsletter about going to Disneyland with your parents and nephews on my wall by my desk. I meditate on it often. Those words are beautiful and useful. I wondered how I could be useful to you. How could I let you know that your story, your words, your “notes” have helped me and beauty has seeped in.
I would like to share with you:
What I’m growing – nothing. I used to have a gorgeous vegetable garden for years. Now I go to the Farmer’s Market.
What I’m watching – all the old Star Trek series. The stories are good. The dated costumes and sets are fun. I plan to watch “Heartstopper.”
What I’m reading – The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates. He is a good writer! I am not finished yet, but this is one of the best books I have ever read. It’s not just the story, which is gripping, but the tone, the rhythm, the imagery, the profound ideas stated simply yet almost hidden are beautiful.
Thank you for writing your beautiful and useful words. I will keep reading and learning and embracing beauty.
Jeff, I am a 63 year old white , heterosexual, married female . And I could not be more grateful for your beautiful and insightful words . Your words are filled with grace and wonder . They spur me on and they also challenge me . Thank you for giving us the gift of your words , as I know it must take so much time and energy. It is honestly like manna in the wilderness for me . It brings a kind of nourishment and I feel connected to beauty and truth
Jeff, thank you for your beautiful writing, it makes a big difference to this American of Asian descent, and for pondering the meaning of home. I have lived in many different places. Then during the worst of the pandemic, I went to an online Quaker meeting and after meeting, I got to talk to a man with many guitars. He said that he is merely a "caretaker" of the guitars - would you believe that this one sentence stopped me in my tracks. Caretaker, what a beautiful concept of how to steward God's gifts. I feel less angsty about not feeling "at home" all the time, knowing my job is to take care of the world and God's gifts while I am here. Blessings to you, Tristan and Fozzie today and every day! 🙏🥰❤
Folks, I am very gratified by your encouragement—and also please know that I didn't mean to be begging for affirmation, and I hope it did not come across that way! Writing can be such a lonely life, particularly when certain things are said that reinforce one's fears of isolation, and I am very thankful for the ways in which you have helped bulldoze that isolation today.
I stop everything when I see your newsletters. I sit down and savor. Thank you for the words, the heart and the courage
I’m grateful for you, both for your friendship and the fierce beauty and truth of your words. Thank you for sharing them with us.
As a straight white woman with (grown) kids, I say phooey to the literary agent. Your writing speaks to me. As someone who very much is not into my feelings and can be a shallow thinker, I learn so much by reading how you wrestle with the big questions. Voices such as yours are so needed. I’m so glad I found you, Fozzie and Tristan (in no particular order-believe me Tristan!) Your writings have helped me understand the Eeyores in my life.
I watched the first five episodes of Heartstopper yesterday after your recommendation (was it on Evolving Faith or Instagram? I can't find it in either one). I have to say, you are getting quite the reputation in my house for good advice: My husband and I started listening to Micha Boyett's The Slow Way podcast on your recommendation, too, and it's been a source of joy and peace in our morning couch-sits, as we call them. Thank you for sharing her with us. And thank you, too, for mentioning Heartstopper the other day. This has been a super tough week in my house, including resigning from my job, receiving bad news about my autistic high school sophomore's educational trajectory, getting rear-ended, and spending the better part of the day in the ER with my husband for kidney stones...whew. The show has been a much-needed respite these past two days and a lovely excuse to shed some tears. I love how it tugs at heart-strings without creating more drama than is necessary. The characters are beautiful people and I just want to hug all of them.
I understand the theory behind what your literary agent said, but also find your writing so relatable. As one of those straight white women she mentioned, I find so much common ground in your writing. It is comforting to read your essays, stumble on something I have thought or felt, and realize I am not the only one who feels that way. Keep writing, your people are out here.
Thanks for your authentic voice, Jeff. I love your writing. All day long notifications come up on the screen of my phone and I ignore them.
Your letter, though, is like texts from my kids, I’m reading it right away and I’m so happy to have heard from you.
Relatable? Isn't being human relatable? I'm a straight, white, middle aged, middle class woman who has lived in the Bible belt for half my life. I NEED to read and learn from those who aren't those things. I long to understand, learn & grow. I have never been content to just hear from those who look or think like me. It's probably why I don't fit with my demographics. Please keep writing & know some of us are eternally grateful for the honesty in which you share.
Oh Jeff! I relate to you. 🌿
Not only in your pontifications on home and the ecology of it but also in the little things like installing a new toilet seat and your musings on what you watch or read.
I've become rather picky about reading writers * who make me feel at home* and that's how you make me feel. Even though I don't have your same experiences. You create a sense of sacred familiarity that makes me want to give thanks and also take action. Both on the things I understand and those I can't fully. But because you truly related them to me I want to engage.
Heading your way Saturday. I've never been to Michigan. A week with the Rienstras has me reaching deep and hoping to find a new home away from home in Holland for a few days A place of sacred familiarity.
Where should I eat lunch Sunday? I'll be cramming in some last pages and strolling amongst tulips. Peace.
I'd like to say that I have commented on your blogs in the past; honestly, not sure. I will say, though, that everything of yours that I have read - EVERYTHING - has moved me or inspired me in some way. I am a straight white grandmother, and I almost had to stop mid-read to comment, so mad at that literary agent was I! You came on my radar through Rachel, Evolving Faith... during a time when my rethinking of all I believed in was taking a tumble and getting reconfigured. Your book was an eye-opening adventure for me, and got me to follow you on Instagram and Twitter and subscribe to your email newsletter. I read what you write partly because I lived in Grand Rapids for 3 years, and it's fun to reminisce through your words. I also read what you write to learn about your culture, the food - THE FOOD! I read what you write because I enjoy the way that you write, and so appreciate your sharings from the literary, music, and screen worlds. If I haven't said it before, thank you. Thank you so much for all you have given me and continue to give me, a 67-year-old woman who loves to learn. I will try to comment more frequently.
I agree with the fellow commenters that I always feel some excitement when I see your newsletter in my inbox. I like to save it and read it when I can savor it.
I've thought about the home question a lot. During Hurricane Harvey we were separated from our house for about 2 weeks (no damage, just couldn't get there because of water). There were a lot of acquaintances who were so excited to be back in their homes. I just didn't feel it. I'm learning I define home more by who I am with than where I am at.
Jeff, thank you for your words and your reflections. Thank you for taking the time to share them. Your writing really is beautiful....and so is your speaking! I listened to the first episode of Season 2 of the EF podcast. You may not be a fan of speaking, but thank you for gifting us with your spoken words as well.
I too do not binge TV shows often, but I watched all of Heartstopper this week and cried through the last scene when Olivia Coleman told me...I mean, her son...that he was loved and everything would be ok. As someone who doesn't have the courage to be out to my family, I wept at the thought that people get to experience this. It made me wondrously happy and desperately sad.
I hope you make a full recovery.
You are without question worth listening to and learning from. Thank you, Jeff, for your words and wisdom. Be encouraged.
Dear Jeff,
I have been reading your newsletter, “Notes of a Make-Believe Farmer” since January 2021. The last newsletter, “Returning Home” impacted me. I am that “white woman with kids” whom your editor referred to. But, I include your book and your newsletter as vehicles that have helped me to see things differently from the viewpoint from which I come. My mind, spirit and soul have been turned upside down. I don’t think the turmoil is over and I haven’t completely settled, but I am on the journey. And it is never too late, I am 63 years old.
I wanted to encourage you. Your editor said “it would never be enough for my writing to be beautiful.” I have found your words beautiful and useful. I have posted on a sticky note, “a love that still insists on showing up” from your newsletter about going to Disneyland with your parents and nephews on my wall by my desk. I meditate on it often. Those words are beautiful and useful. I wondered how I could be useful to you. How could I let you know that your story, your words, your “notes” have helped me and beauty has seeped in.
I would like to share with you:
What I’m growing – nothing. I used to have a gorgeous vegetable garden for years. Now I go to the Farmer’s Market.
What I’m watching – all the old Star Trek series. The stories are good. The dated costumes and sets are fun. I plan to watch “Heartstopper.”
What I’m reading – The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates. He is a good writer! I am not finished yet, but this is one of the best books I have ever read. It’s not just the story, which is gripping, but the tone, the rhythm, the imagery, the profound ideas stated simply yet almost hidden are beautiful.
Thank you for writing your beautiful and useful words. I will keep reading and learning and embracing beauty.
Your friend,
Cheryl Fletcher
Jeff, I am a 63 year old white , heterosexual, married female . And I could not be more grateful for your beautiful and insightful words . Your words are filled with grace and wonder . They spur me on and they also challenge me . Thank you for giving us the gift of your words , as I know it must take so much time and energy. It is honestly like manna in the wilderness for me . It brings a kind of nourishment and I feel connected to beauty and truth
Jeff, thank you for your beautiful writing, it makes a big difference to this American of Asian descent, and for pondering the meaning of home. I have lived in many different places. Then during the worst of the pandemic, I went to an online Quaker meeting and after meeting, I got to talk to a man with many guitars. He said that he is merely a "caretaker" of the guitars - would you believe that this one sentence stopped me in my tracks. Caretaker, what a beautiful concept of how to steward God's gifts. I feel less angsty about not feeling "at home" all the time, knowing my job is to take care of the world and God's gifts while I am here. Blessings to you, Tristan and Fozzie today and every day! 🙏🥰❤