Some fragmented thoughts on what it means to be at home, the beginnings of a garden, the new show "Heartstopper," the resilience of a wild ecosystem, and AAPI Heritage Month
I enjoy reading your newsletters very much and always feel connected to your writing as someone stumbling through life as best as I can. You bring me hope and camaraderie. Thanks for sharing your life and thoughts with all of us!
thanks, jeff! so sorry you struggled with covid, and i hope your recovery is complete. each spring i think of bach's "awake, thou wintry earth." --tom o.
I was wandering around the house, feeling totally disguntled with the world today and sat right down to read your post. Interesting that you included thoughts about what "home" means to us - just on the day that after reading news stuff, I want to live anywhere but in the U.S.! (well, not anywhere). We lived in Belgium for a few years a few decades ago and it was fun to read about your "haul", but I'm also sending prayers and good wishes for a quick and full recovery from COVID. I love that the writing here always includes life-giving activities such as growing things, cooking, renovation, etc that you tie in beautifully to aspects of life that I fully relate to. Thank you.
I understand the theory behind what your literary agent said, but also find your writing so relatable. As one of those straight white women she mentioned, I find so much common ground in your writing. It is comforting to read your essays, stumble on something I have thought or felt, and realize I am not the only one who feels that way. Keep writing, your people are out here.
I watched the first five episodes of Heartstopper yesterday after your recommendation (was it on Evolving Faith or Instagram? I can't find it in either one). I have to say, you are getting quite the reputation in my house for good advice: My husband and I started listening to Micha Boyett's The Slow Way podcast on your recommendation, too, and it's been a source of joy and peace in our morning couch-sits, as we call them. Thank you for sharing her with us. And thank you, too, for mentioning Heartstopper the other day. This has been a super tough week in my house, including resigning from my job, receiving bad news about my autistic high school sophomore's educational trajectory, getting rear-ended, and spending the better part of the day in the ER with my husband for kidney stones...whew. The show has been a much-needed respite these past two days and a lovely excuse to shed some tears. I love how it tugs at heart-strings without creating more drama than is necessary. The characters are beautiful people and I just want to hug all of them.
Thank you so much. And I'm praying for a return to full health for you and a peace-filled transition as you settle back in to life in Grand Rapids. May you have plenty of "homey" moments.
Also, I finished Heartstopper last night, and I'm finding myself in a happy sort of mourning. I loved the show so much, and I already miss Nick and Charlie and Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy, as if they became my friends this week. It was an unlooked-for gift.
Jeff, thank you for your words and your reflections. Thank you for taking the time to share them. Your writing really is beautiful....and so is your speaking! I listened to the first episode of Season 2 of the EF podcast. You may not be a fan of speaking, but thank you for gifting us with your spoken words as well.
I too do not binge TV shows often, but I watched all of Heartstopper this week and cried through the last scene when Olivia Coleman told me...I mean, her son...that he was loved and everything would be ok. As someone who doesn't have the courage to be out to my family, I wept at the thought that people get to experience this. It made me wondrously happy and desperately sad.
One of the most beautiful moments in Heartstopper for me, beyond that Olivia Colman scene, is when Charlie says to Nick (and I'm paraphrasing) that it's okay and that he can take the time he needs to figure things out. I'd say the same to you. There is no right timetable, and you undoubtedly have good reason not to feel safe telling your family your full story. But that story is yours to tell. And I hope you will not be too, too hard on yourself for choosing not to tell it yet.
As a white-African woman in a perpetual state of questioning the concept of 'home' (especially having recently moved back in to my childhood (parents') home with my husband and young child! - yeah unpack that can of worms), I really appreciated this thoughtful post. Your words reach further than you know.
That's got to be tough to be back in your childhood home! Grace and peace and strength to you. I hope you will be surprised with some really wonderful moments, especially for your kid being with the grandparents
Jeff you are such a gift, and your letters are always such a welcome piece of beauty in my inbox. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your kindness with us.
I agree with the fellow commenters that I always feel some excitement when I see your newsletter in my inbox. I like to save it and read it when I can savor it.
I've thought about the home question a lot. During Hurricane Harvey we were separated from our house for about 2 weeks (no damage, just couldn't get there because of water). There were a lot of acquaintances who were so excited to be back in their homes. I just didn't feel it. I'm learning I define home more by who I am with than where I am at.
Jeff, sounds like your article was timely for many. It was for me, coming back to the US from a trip to my home country of France, and struggling with that homelessness quite intensely this week. Thanks from bringing perspective and a sentiment of "I'm not alone" back into my heart.
Your letter is always a breath of fresh air, one I welcome gladly each time it arrives in my in box. As for home, I’ve been wondering about this also, having moved out of my home of 25 years and the raising of four children and into the condo of retirement and a new marriage. Is home the memories of my past, the enjoyment of the present, or the anticipation of the future?
Thank you so much from a faithful reader! I am at the airport after 4 days of work travel and very much appreciate your thoughts on home. While I will be glad to be in my town and physical house, it’s the two humans and two cats within that make my home. I was also chatting with my mentee at work; she is part of a minority focused leadership program. She’s a second generation, raised fully in the US, so we have had a few conversations about that, as she is a leader regardless of her race or ethnicity. I am so grateful for the opportunity, as I have gained such an important perspective and perhaps will learn more from this experience than my mentee. Welcome home and prayers to you for continued recovery!
I’m grateful for you, both for your friendship and the fierce beauty and truth of your words. Thank you for sharing them with us.
I stop everything when I see your newsletters. I sit down and savor. Thank you for the words, the heart and the courage
same for me. food to savor, these words and your heart, Jeff. thanks.
Yes! Savour. That’s the perfect word for Jeff’s writing.
I enjoy reading your newsletters very much and always feel connected to your writing as someone stumbling through life as best as I can. You bring me hope and camaraderie. Thanks for sharing your life and thoughts with all of us!
thanks, jeff! so sorry you struggled with covid, and i hope your recovery is complete. each spring i think of bach's "awake, thou wintry earth." --tom o.
I was wandering around the house, feeling totally disguntled with the world today and sat right down to read your post. Interesting that you included thoughts about what "home" means to us - just on the day that after reading news stuff, I want to live anywhere but in the U.S.! (well, not anywhere). We lived in Belgium for a few years a few decades ago and it was fun to read about your "haul", but I'm also sending prayers and good wishes for a quick and full recovery from COVID. I love that the writing here always includes life-giving activities such as growing things, cooking, renovation, etc that you tie in beautifully to aspects of life that I fully relate to. Thank you.
I understand the theory behind what your literary agent said, but also find your writing so relatable. As one of those straight white women she mentioned, I find so much common ground in your writing. It is comforting to read your essays, stumble on something I have thought or felt, and realize I am not the only one who feels that way. Keep writing, your people are out here.
I watched the first five episodes of Heartstopper yesterday after your recommendation (was it on Evolving Faith or Instagram? I can't find it in either one). I have to say, you are getting quite the reputation in my house for good advice: My husband and I started listening to Micha Boyett's The Slow Way podcast on your recommendation, too, and it's been a source of joy and peace in our morning couch-sits, as we call them. Thank you for sharing her with us. And thank you, too, for mentioning Heartstopper the other day. This has been a super tough week in my house, including resigning from my job, receiving bad news about my autistic high school sophomore's educational trajectory, getting rear-ended, and spending the better part of the day in the ER with my husband for kidney stones...whew. The show has been a much-needed respite these past two days and a lovely excuse to shed some tears. I love how it tugs at heart-strings without creating more drama than is necessary. The characters are beautiful people and I just want to hug all of them.
That's a lot for one week! Sending up a prayer for you as you navigate all this tough terrain.
Thank you so much. And I'm praying for a return to full health for you and a peace-filled transition as you settle back in to life in Grand Rapids. May you have plenty of "homey" moments.
Also, I finished Heartstopper last night, and I'm finding myself in a happy sort of mourning. I loved the show so much, and I already miss Nick and Charlie and Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy, as if they became my friends this week. It was an unlooked-for gift.
Jeff, thank you for your words and your reflections. Thank you for taking the time to share them. Your writing really is beautiful....and so is your speaking! I listened to the first episode of Season 2 of the EF podcast. You may not be a fan of speaking, but thank you for gifting us with your spoken words as well.
I too do not binge TV shows often, but I watched all of Heartstopper this week and cried through the last scene when Olivia Coleman told me...I mean, her son...that he was loved and everything would be ok. As someone who doesn't have the courage to be out to my family, I wept at the thought that people get to experience this. It made me wondrously happy and desperately sad.
I hope you make a full recovery.
One of the most beautiful moments in Heartstopper for me, beyond that Olivia Colman scene, is when Charlie says to Nick (and I'm paraphrasing) that it's okay and that he can take the time he needs to figure things out. I'd say the same to you. There is no right timetable, and you undoubtedly have good reason not to feel safe telling your family your full story. But that story is yours to tell. And I hope you will not be too, too hard on yourself for choosing not to tell it yet.
As a white-African woman in a perpetual state of questioning the concept of 'home' (especially having recently moved back in to my childhood (parents') home with my husband and young child! - yeah unpack that can of worms), I really appreciated this thoughtful post. Your words reach further than you know.
That's got to be tough to be back in your childhood home! Grace and peace and strength to you. I hope you will be surprised with some really wonderful moments, especially for your kid being with the grandparents
Jeff you are such a gift, and your letters are always such a welcome piece of beauty in my inbox. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your kindness with us.
I agree with the fellow commenters that I always feel some excitement when I see your newsletter in my inbox. I like to save it and read it when I can savor it.
I've thought about the home question a lot. During Hurricane Harvey we were separated from our house for about 2 weeks (no damage, just couldn't get there because of water). There were a lot of acquaintances who were so excited to be back in their homes. I just didn't feel it. I'm learning I define home more by who I am with than where I am at.
I agree. Home is definitely a feeling for me rather than a place. I feel at home when I can breathe and be me without judgement.
Thanks for your authentic voice, Jeff. I love your writing. All day long notifications come up on the screen of my phone and I ignore them.
Your letter, though, is like texts from my kids, I’m reading it right away and I’m so happy to have heard from you.
Jeff, sounds like your article was timely for many. It was for me, coming back to the US from a trip to my home country of France, and struggling with that homelessness quite intensely this week. Thanks from bringing perspective and a sentiment of "I'm not alone" back into my heart.
Marginalize but I do! I am sorry for that, you can pray for me Jeff. Thanks I’m reading A Church called Tov! God doesn’t
Your letter is always a breath of fresh air, one I welcome gladly each time it arrives in my in box. As for home, I’ve been wondering about this also, having moved out of my home of 25 years and the raising of four children and into the condo of retirement and a new marriage. Is home the memories of my past, the enjoyment of the present, or the anticipation of the future?
Thank you so much from a faithful reader! I am at the airport after 4 days of work travel and very much appreciate your thoughts on home. While I will be glad to be in my town and physical house, it’s the two humans and two cats within that make my home. I was also chatting with my mentee at work; she is part of a minority focused leadership program. She’s a second generation, raised fully in the US, so we have had a few conversations about that, as she is a leader regardless of her race or ethnicity. I am so grateful for the opportunity, as I have gained such an important perspective and perhaps will learn more from this experience than my mentee. Welcome home and prayers to you for continued recovery!