I love that you did this with your nephew. I have two teenage daughters, now 18 and 19. We love to travel as a family but I knew early on that I wanted one on one trips with them that gave us shared memories and connection. I decided to take each on trips at ages 10, 13, and 16. We talked and dreamed about the trips at least a year, sometimes longer, in advance. My oldest daughter is a history lover and when she was 10, she wanted to visit Harry Truman’s presidential library. I love presidential history and love his library but this seemed a little boring to me and not “special” enough. She also loved and still loves Taylor Swift. So I surprised her with TS tickets once we were in Kansas City for the library. My younger daughter was obsessed at age 10 with a book series called 38 Rooms, based on the Thorne Room exhibit at the Chicago Museum of Art. That’s what she picked and we had a wonderful time exploring museums, riding the water taxi and all of the other Chicago sites. We recently were in Chicago again together for a college tour and visited the miniature rooms again. We both agreed it was a highlight of our lives so far to do that together. Age 13 was Boston for the older one with a special trip to the Louisa May Alcott home in Concord and D.C. for the younger for a trip to the International Spy Museum and a performance at Kennedy Center. Age 16 for the older was a trip to Prince Edward Island to do all things Anne of Green Gables and for the younger, a trip to LA to explore Hollywood and other fun celebrity things. The memories are many. On the trip to PEI, my beloved stepfather and their PopPop passed away after a long illness. There was no way to get off the island easily before our planned departure so we share the memories of grieving together while also trying to see it all since we were there. My youngest and I still laugh when we reminisce about our last night in D.C. when we decided to eat all the junk food we could find at CVS while watching Sherlock in bed rather than going out to eat. The youngest’s 16 year trip was delayed a year due to Covid. She and I have great memories of going to Lego Land, a lifelong dream for her. She was the oldest “kid” by far at 17 and had a blast. So did I.
These trips are priceless for me. What I know now and couldn’t know when they were younger is that both would pull away from me in many ways. It’s normal and right and part of becoming a healthy adult. But it’s hard on parents. The relationship is not hurt; however, the influence of peers has become so much more than I could have imagined. I’ve made a lot of parenting mistakes. I often pray things like “God, can you please make them just forget that was ever said??”. But these trips have been part of my main parenting goal...parenting for the long game. When they are 25 and 30 and 40, I want to still have influence in their lives. I want them to feel comfortable coming to me with mistakes, disappointments and hurts. The question of “how can I react to this in a way that will not harm my long term relationship?” guides me when I’m addressing an issue. This has gotten long! All of this to make the point that your trip with Caleb is much more than a trip. It’s a large deposit in his relationship bank that will pay dividends for years to come.
When I was 33, I had the opportunity to do a road trip with my dad to Glacier National Park and then we rode bikes in Idaho and Washington. We still talk about that trip. I am so glad to have that experience with my dad as an adult.
I took a trip to Portugal with my mother over 30 years ago. Just the two of us, and we had done very little planning or preparation. (Those were pre-internet days!). What a wonderful time we had and I'm so glad we explored this lovely country together.
I, too, have been traveling during the month of August. So, thank you for the reminder to run the memory reel. I sometimes wish that I could capture every moment as I travel, but you have reminded me that the emotions of awe, joy, delight, and wonder that I experience are still with me even after the breathtaking views and incredible flavors have faded.
One of the places and its people that are close to my traveler's heart is currently experiencing devastating flooding - Pakistan. So far over a 1,000 lives have been lost. It is estimated that over a 1/3 of the country is underwater and over half of its livestock and crops have been destroyed. These facts cannot summarize the warmth of the culture and the beauty of land that is being destroyed. And, I'm not even sure why I shared all of that, so thank you for letting my heart speak.
My husband and I took "the trip of a lifetime" to Australia and New Zealand in 2018. Although it was filled with incredible experiences-visiting a Maori village, snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef, cuddling a koala-the moment that revisits me most often was beautifully simple. On our first day in Sydney I glanced across the street to see my husband, leaning on a guard rail, deep in contemplation, as he gazed across the water at the opera house. In that moment my love for him, and his for me, washed over me. No one has ever loved me better than he. I snapped a quick picture and printed and framed it when I returned home. It sits on my desk at work, and I gaze at it often and remember that feeling, that knowing, of love. On my hardest days, when I feel worthless and hopeless, I look at the picture and remember I am loved. Thank you for your work. Of all the subscriptions I enjoy reading, yours never fails to touch my heart.
My uncle also took me on a wilderness trip when I was a teenager, 20 years ago, and pieces of those memories come reaching out to me in a way that makes it seem the trip has never ended. Thank you for the gift of your words.
I love that you did this with your nephew. I have two teenage daughters, now 18 and 19. We love to travel as a family but I knew early on that I wanted one on one trips with them that gave us shared memories and connection. I decided to take each on trips at ages 10, 13, and 16. We talked and dreamed about the trips at least a year, sometimes longer, in advance. My oldest daughter is a history lover and when she was 10, she wanted to visit Harry Truman’s presidential library. I love presidential history and love his library but this seemed a little boring to me and not “special” enough. She also loved and still loves Taylor Swift. So I surprised her with TS tickets once we were in Kansas City for the library. My younger daughter was obsessed at age 10 with a book series called 38 Rooms, based on the Thorne Room exhibit at the Chicago Museum of Art. That’s what she picked and we had a wonderful time exploring museums, riding the water taxi and all of the other Chicago sites. We recently were in Chicago again together for a college tour and visited the miniature rooms again. We both agreed it was a highlight of our lives so far to do that together. Age 13 was Boston for the older one with a special trip to the Louisa May Alcott home in Concord and D.C. for the younger for a trip to the International Spy Museum and a performance at Kennedy Center. Age 16 for the older was a trip to Prince Edward Island to do all things Anne of Green Gables and for the younger, a trip to LA to explore Hollywood and other fun celebrity things. The memories are many. On the trip to PEI, my beloved stepfather and their PopPop passed away after a long illness. There was no way to get off the island easily before our planned departure so we share the memories of grieving together while also trying to see it all since we were there. My youngest and I still laugh when we reminisce about our last night in D.C. when we decided to eat all the junk food we could find at CVS while watching Sherlock in bed rather than going out to eat. The youngest’s 16 year trip was delayed a year due to Covid. She and I have great memories of going to Lego Land, a lifelong dream for her. She was the oldest “kid” by far at 17 and had a blast. So did I.
These trips are priceless for me. What I know now and couldn’t know when they were younger is that both would pull away from me in many ways. It’s normal and right and part of becoming a healthy adult. But it’s hard on parents. The relationship is not hurt; however, the influence of peers has become so much more than I could have imagined. I’ve made a lot of parenting mistakes. I often pray things like “God, can you please make them just forget that was ever said??”. But these trips have been part of my main parenting goal...parenting for the long game. When they are 25 and 30 and 40, I want to still have influence in their lives. I want them to feel comfortable coming to me with mistakes, disappointments and hurts. The question of “how can I react to this in a way that will not harm my long term relationship?” guides me when I’m addressing an issue. This has gotten long! All of this to make the point that your trip with Caleb is much more than a trip. It’s a large deposit in his relationship bank that will pay dividends for years to come.
Stay tuned. I’m currently on the first leg of a trip I hope will be such a trip. 😊
When I was 33, I had the opportunity to do a road trip with my dad to Glacier National Park and then we rode bikes in Idaho and Washington. We still talk about that trip. I am so glad to have that experience with my dad as an adult.
I took a trip to Portugal with my mother over 30 years ago. Just the two of us, and we had done very little planning or preparation. (Those were pre-internet days!). What a wonderful time we had and I'm so glad we explored this lovely country together.
I, too, have been traveling during the month of August. So, thank you for the reminder to run the memory reel. I sometimes wish that I could capture every moment as I travel, but you have reminded me that the emotions of awe, joy, delight, and wonder that I experience are still with me even after the breathtaking views and incredible flavors have faded.
One of the places and its people that are close to my traveler's heart is currently experiencing devastating flooding - Pakistan. So far over a 1,000 lives have been lost. It is estimated that over a 1/3 of the country is underwater and over half of its livestock and crops have been destroyed. These facts cannot summarize the warmth of the culture and the beauty of land that is being destroyed. And, I'm not even sure why I shared all of that, so thank you for letting my heart speak.
My husband and I took "the trip of a lifetime" to Australia and New Zealand in 2018. Although it was filled with incredible experiences-visiting a Maori village, snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef, cuddling a koala-the moment that revisits me most often was beautifully simple. On our first day in Sydney I glanced across the street to see my husband, leaning on a guard rail, deep in contemplation, as he gazed across the water at the opera house. In that moment my love for him, and his for me, washed over me. No one has ever loved me better than he. I snapped a quick picture and printed and framed it when I returned home. It sits on my desk at work, and I gaze at it often and remember that feeling, that knowing, of love. On my hardest days, when I feel worthless and hopeless, I look at the picture and remember I am loved. Thank you for your work. Of all the subscriptions I enjoy reading, yours never fails to touch my heart.
My uncle also took me on a wilderness trip when I was a teenager, 20 years ago, and pieces of those memories come reaching out to me in a way that makes it seem the trip has never ended. Thank you for the gift of your words.