Some fragmented thoughts on the plethora of hot takes in this post-election season, a problem with love, faithful foolishness, French wallpaper, and breakfast sandwiches
I’m grateful for your words, today and always. “Both revulsion and love are forms of renewable energy, and given the choice, I’d like to believe that I’d choose love.” I’m going to keep thinking about this one. Thank you.
I really needed this as an antidote for post-election exhaustion. I also needed the Providence recs! (Kind of fun to understand local to me references, but now I want to revisit RISD Museum and finally check out Amy's Place)
I just pre-ordered your book and became a paid subscriber. Your words are such a gift to me. I will look for the invitation in the irritation. I might even write that and put it on my mirror. ❤️
Jeff , I also have so many feelings still about election results. The president, several members of cabinet and now my state senator have sexual allegations against them or have been found guilty with no timeframe for sentencing. As a sexual abuse victim, it saddens me and triggers me in so many ways. I have decided that I need to continue to be the person I was the day before the election. I need to continue to support the outreach ministries at church, care for my friends, fight for injustice. These elected officials, these charged with violating the heart and soul of others, do not get to dictate who I am and will continue to be. That is my love I hope to continue to show
Thanks for cornbread recipe… I will definitely be making it. Book is ordered and thank you for being you….honest and vulnerable
I'm so sorry, Tammy. The body keeps the score. I hope you are able to tenderly care for yourself in these dark days. And I hope it helps to know you are not alone in your response to these folks. So many others are saying the same.
Hi Jeff. I recently read a book on a man who spent 7 years in a Vietnam prison camp. His code of conduct and his community of fellow prisoners allowed him to survive. I wrote my own code:
Code of conduct
I am a beloved child of God. I have been given his grace and have been sent into the world to bring love, healing, and wholeness. I am ready to give up my need to ‘be right and in charge’ in order to further these aims.
I will never use strategies or tactics that bring more hate, harm, and separation into the world.
I will take no actions which will support hate, harm, or separation in the world. I will patiently teach and humbly listen to fellow beloved children engaged in the same quest. I will support others engaged in this work in every way possible.
Should I become overwhelmed or discouraged, I will reach out to others to be reminded of my connection to the community. If my fellow beloved children reach out to me in discouragement, I will patiently sit with them and hold them in their distress. Afterward, I will bring them to my heavenly father in prayer and do what seems fitting to restore their hope. When my wrongs are pointed out to me, I will humbly ask for forgiveness and seek to be reconciled with my fellow beloved child.
I will never forget that I am a beloved child of God, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to bringing love, healing, and wholeness into the world. I will trust in my Father and his son Jesus Christ.
It starts and ends with my identity and gives me tangible things to focus on. What do you think?
This was perfect from first to last word. I needed them all. Most especially the bits where you shared about feelings I share of wanting to punch things— but also, not punch things, because we wish for peace. It is all a lot right now. A swirling storm of all the feelings and the worst of them and the best of them all spinning in the mix. I can barely catch one and hold it long enough to feel it before the next smacks me in the face or squeezes me so tight, I cannot breathe.
I don’t know what comes next, or what the path or next steps look like, but I deeply appreciate you making space for all of the emotions and laying some of yours out there. Because, as much I want to find away around this mess, we have to feel THROUGH it. Thanks for doing that with us. -Jen
First of all, thanks for using the word "plethora". It's one of my favorites and not seen or heard often enough. Then, love. Whenever I read your material, I feel like I come just a tiny bit closer to accepting and understanding how it manifests in my life. Maybe I'll get it one day. And, finally, thanks for being you as you share so much strength and fragility. Have a blessed Thanksgiving as you celebrate in the land of Pilgrims.
I’m having a good weekend with my daughter who came to help us clean out my MILs house after her death. My heart is so grateful for this daughter who is wise and kind. After this election I am so sad and anger comes too quick. She is showing me how she wants to be curious and it’s helping me. I just don’t like it that I can’t feel like I can trust myself to be nice to family members who voted for this man. So I needed your writing today.
Glad you can have some quality time with your daughter. Re: the family members: As I've said before, sometimes the best thing we can do is to love people from afar. It's okay to create some space if you need it.
I appreciate you listing out some of your contradictory loves. As someone with clinically diagnosed OCD and a tendency to fixate on morality, it’s very helpful to gently remember that I have so many different loves, some that align more with my values than others, and my task is to lean into the ones that align with my values, but that doesn’t mean I have to chastise myself over the others.
On a lighter note, it’s funny you mention Portuguese muffins while in Rhode Island. I’m a West Coaster and had never heard of Portuguese muffins before meeting my partner who grew up in New York and spent many summers in Rhode Island! We visited Rhode Island in September and I really enjoyed getting to see a place that is special to him.
I think my desire, in listing some of my contradictory loves, is to offer solidarity to others as well as to encourage myself and anyone who reads this not to shy from paying attention to the complexities. I'd like for us to be more mindful—and, where we act against our stated values, I'd like for us to do so consciously and maybe even more uncomfortably.
I pre-ordered the book today. I can’t wait to read it. Thanks for these thoughts today.
I am grateful for you and for the opportunity to pre-order another copy but this one will have your signature!!!
I’m grateful for your words, today and always. “Both revulsion and love are forms of renewable energy, and given the choice, I’d like to believe that I’d choose love.” I’m going to keep thinking about this one. Thank you.
Just, thank you.
I really needed this as an antidote for post-election exhaustion. I also needed the Providence recs! (Kind of fun to understand local to me references, but now I want to revisit RISD Museum and finally check out Amy's Place)
Amy's Place is great. We also had a wonderful dinner at Persimmon. And Fearless Fish is one of the best fishmongers I've been to anywhere.
I just pre-ordered your book and became a paid subscriber. Your words are such a gift to me. I will look for the invitation in the irritation. I might even write that and put it on my mirror. ❤️
Jeff , I also have so many feelings still about election results. The president, several members of cabinet and now my state senator have sexual allegations against them or have been found guilty with no timeframe for sentencing. As a sexual abuse victim, it saddens me and triggers me in so many ways. I have decided that I need to continue to be the person I was the day before the election. I need to continue to support the outreach ministries at church, care for my friends, fight for injustice. These elected officials, these charged with violating the heart and soul of others, do not get to dictate who I am and will continue to be. That is my love I hope to continue to show
Thanks for cornbread recipe… I will definitely be making it. Book is ordered and thank you for being you….honest and vulnerable
I'm so sorry, Tammy. The body keeps the score. I hope you are able to tenderly care for yourself in these dark days. And I hope it helps to know you are not alone in your response to these folks. So many others are saying the same.
Hi Jeff. I recently read a book on a man who spent 7 years in a Vietnam prison camp. His code of conduct and his community of fellow prisoners allowed him to survive. I wrote my own code:
Code of conduct
I am a beloved child of God. I have been given his grace and have been sent into the world to bring love, healing, and wholeness. I am ready to give up my need to ‘be right and in charge’ in order to further these aims.
I will never use strategies or tactics that bring more hate, harm, and separation into the world.
I will take no actions which will support hate, harm, or separation in the world. I will patiently teach and humbly listen to fellow beloved children engaged in the same quest. I will support others engaged in this work in every way possible.
Should I become overwhelmed or discouraged, I will reach out to others to be reminded of my connection to the community. If my fellow beloved children reach out to me in discouragement, I will patiently sit with them and hold them in their distress. Afterward, I will bring them to my heavenly father in prayer and do what seems fitting to restore their hope. When my wrongs are pointed out to me, I will humbly ask for forgiveness and seek to be reconciled with my fellow beloved child.
I will never forget that I am a beloved child of God, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to bringing love, healing, and wholeness into the world. I will trust in my Father and his son Jesus Christ.
It starts and ends with my identity and gives me tangible things to focus on. What do you think?
What a beautiful code. Thank you for inspiring me.
thank you for wrestling and writing today... I appreciate it. And that breakfast sandwich. OH MY LORD
Right? Thar sounds amazing. The hashbrowns are a revelation.
This was perfect from first to last word. I needed them all. Most especially the bits where you shared about feelings I share of wanting to punch things— but also, not punch things, because we wish for peace. It is all a lot right now. A swirling storm of all the feelings and the worst of them and the best of them all spinning in the mix. I can barely catch one and hold it long enough to feel it before the next smacks me in the face or squeezes me so tight, I cannot breathe.
I don’t know what comes next, or what the path or next steps look like, but I deeply appreciate you making space for all of the emotions and laying some of yours out there. Because, as much I want to find away around this mess, we have to feel THROUGH it. Thanks for doing that with us. -Jen
First of all, thanks for using the word "plethora". It's one of my favorites and not seen or heard often enough. Then, love. Whenever I read your material, I feel like I come just a tiny bit closer to accepting and understanding how it manifests in my life. Maybe I'll get it one day. And, finally, thanks for being you as you share so much strength and fragility. Have a blessed Thanksgiving as you celebrate in the land of Pilgrims.
I’m having a good weekend with my daughter who came to help us clean out my MILs house after her death. My heart is so grateful for this daughter who is wise and kind. After this election I am so sad and anger comes too quick. She is showing me how she wants to be curious and it’s helping me. I just don’t like it that I can’t feel like I can trust myself to be nice to family members who voted for this man. So I needed your writing today.
Glad you can have some quality time with your daughter. Re: the family members: As I've said before, sometimes the best thing we can do is to love people from afar. It's okay to create some space if you need it.
That animal desire to punch something when Gaetz's face appears on my TV....🤣 yes I needed solidarity and a laugh 🤣
Kudos to you on your writing and speaking! Thank you for being here!
Margie Higgins
St Mark’s UMC/Pecore
Houston, Texas
Thank you so much for this. Resonates deeply with my feelings and thoughts at this moment--including the ones on commentators!
I appreciate you listing out some of your contradictory loves. As someone with clinically diagnosed OCD and a tendency to fixate on morality, it’s very helpful to gently remember that I have so many different loves, some that align more with my values than others, and my task is to lean into the ones that align with my values, but that doesn’t mean I have to chastise myself over the others.
On a lighter note, it’s funny you mention Portuguese muffins while in Rhode Island. I’m a West Coaster and had never heard of Portuguese muffins before meeting my partner who grew up in New York and spent many summers in Rhode Island! We visited Rhode Island in September and I really enjoyed getting to see a place that is special to him.
I think my desire, in listing some of my contradictory loves, is to offer solidarity to others as well as to encourage myself and anyone who reads this not to shy from paying attention to the complexities. I'd like for us to be more mindful—and, where we act against our stated values, I'd like for us to do so consciously and maybe even more uncomfortably.