Hi Jeff, I appreciate your thoughts/feelings about living in a place, loving it, making a life in it, but not feeling “home.” I moved to SoCal six years ago from my native Ohio, and I often feel those same feelings. Am I an Ohioan or a Californian? I feel as if we were “sent” here, so rather than worry about labels, I guess I should try to create peace, love, and beauty wherever I am and know that’s enough. Thx for the reminder!
Thank you for this piece. As always, absolutely wonderful. I appreciated the link to the pictorial essay that appeared in the Guardian. The photos were stunning. I am guessing many churches have these kinds of unused spaces on their campuses.
I'm encouraged by how my Episcopal Church has evolved to changing times. We have a large campus with several different buildings. Many years ago, our parish rectory was converted to classroom and lab space for the growing day school. Times changed, and the school eventually closed. Recently, we've renovated the marvelous space back to its original purpose: housing. Our new neighbors just moved in. In its new form, it's a sober living home for women in our community who need a fresh start, a place where their children can live with them as they work through recovery. Former classroom space on our campus is now occupied by a thriving preschool operated by an outside organization. There's also a drumming school! We have a large apartment that's being rented to a family at below market rate, something that's welcome in a community with scant affordable housing, and very little housing inventory overall. I live about two blocks from my church, and I love seeing (and hearing!) these neighbors on my daily walks.
Our ED Los Angeles Bishop - John Taylor - is spearheading a movement in consider how we're using underused church space in our diocese, and how we might benefit our communities by shifting use to affordable housing and more. We've just hired a "czar" to work in our diocese to help our parishes effect change around use of our space.
These changing times invite us to imagine new possibilities.
As a transplant from Detroit to Grand Rapids, I loved your comments. Coming from an African-American city to GR was a change, for sure. We retired here to be with our kids and grands, and do enjoy it. I often tell old friends that the surrounding area is conservative and white, but GR itself, along with Kentwood and Wyoming, is fairly diverse, and politically pretty progressive. Our neighborhood is adorned with Black Lives Matters signs and rainbow flags, which we appreciate. Many CRC and Reformed churches are actively seeking to be anti-racist and LBGTQ+ welcoming, even in the midst of denominations (especially the CRC) which are not supportive, expecially of efforts to be welcoming to LBGTQ+. Your continued presence here has surprised me. I am glad you stayed.
Dear Jeff, I grappled with what to write last week and then didn’t. But I will say this week that I am so sorry for the vast divide between what Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers taught about our melting pot and what your experience is. I hope we can move this so we can all belong. In your writing I feel so connected. The aging dog pooping everywhere. The 100+ yo house we lovingly try to honor. The yard of things that refuse to grow (yellow squash and ginger and basil), the things that take over (tomatoes, fava beans and some sort of predatory succulent) and the things we feed to the snails (everything else), the neighborhood where we don’t quite fit but try, the southern food folks try to replicate but oof “nope”. And meanwhile we search in the sorrow and the joy and the loss and the what’s next. Thank you for your words. I pause and read them out loud to my partner and we feel more like we belong.
I always enjoy your writings, but I live in GR too, so I appreciated what you wrote especially this week. I wouldn't encourage you to go to the zoo (unless you have little kids in tow), or the Ford Museum (unless they have an exhibit you want to see). My favorite spot is Lake MI, maybe an Ottawa county park or my favorite is Pier Marquette. These are not in GR, but it's a big part of why I like living here. If you ever preach in GR, I'd come and listen. I'm a Baptist PK too and it's been a struggle. I admire how you have found your way and still love God.
I just planted two seven-foot cherry blossom trees and a lilac bush. My hydrangeas got very singed in smokey wind from a fire last year and I wasn't sure they would recover from their blackened canes. This morning I saw the first flower buds!
As a third culture kid, your words today spoke to me.
Five years ago, we moved from the suburbs of Toronto to downtown Ottawa to be closer to our children and grandchildren. So glad we did. Somehow, bring in the nation's capitol makes you feel you're a part of things. And I've found a wonderful church community to be a part of. So, even old people can change, and still feel at home.
Almost two years ago, my husband and I moved from Arizona to Oregon. We’re in our mid-fifties, and many would argue we’re doing it all backwards. We should be moving toward warmth as we age, not away from it. We came here to be close to our daughter and back in the beauty of the Pacific Northwest. No more brown for me!
Hi Jeff, I loved this - as a foreigner/outsider (British but living in Nicaragua for almost 20 years now) this sentence struck a chord deep in my heart 'If no place feels exactly like home, there is an invitation to create a little bit of home wherever you are. Here, we are building a life that suits us.' I feel seen and understood and a little less alone, thank you :)
Love this! "If no place feels exactly like home, there is an invitation to create a little bit of home wherever you are."
My roots in West Texas and Eastern New Mexico felt deep, third-generation, but I know it is laughable to the Mexican heritage of 400+ years elsewhere and for others and the much longer history of the Native people there.
I severed them as deliberately as I could, barring, of course, family visits for Christmas. I once aspired to be a full-fledged Texan but was hired instead in Alabama and then Illinois. Now I am a transplant to a small Southern California city. People picture L.A., but the Inland Empire is much more comfortable with its citrus grove farm history and decrying new young people who don't understand the "real Redlands." I get it, from a small town with a transient Air Force population. The new people come and go. But all that to say, even as beautiful as it is, sitting here under palm trees in perfect summer weather as I type this, it's not home (yet?) either. Even if I could afford a house here (ha!!), I don't think it's home enough to put down roots and binding financial commitments more than a lease year at a time. I did just sign a new one, though. So we'll see in summer 2024 how I feel, but for now, I have a pretty sweet deal and that is enough, year by year, to keep home inside myself and in online community spaces that go with me whatever side of the country I live on.
I was born in Maryland, raised in upstate NY, and lived a bunch of other places before coming to SE KY more than 20 years ago. It is beautiful here and also hard for more reasons than I can list here. This quote from your post described it perfectly: "As much as I am making a home here in Grand Rapids, I still struggle to call Grand Rapids home."
I'm in the interesting position of moving back to my hometown in NC but feeling like an outsider. My husband & I lived in Ohio for 20 years and I still miss it. The first time we drove through the soybean
and corn fields near our home in Xenia I felt like I had come home. We're needed here, but still...
Also, I can't wait to see that wallpaper in your study!
The passage from Jeremiah was compelling, I’m not sure I’d ever noticed how succinct those words were before. It speaks to me as I prepare to leave the city & state I’ve been in since birth for DC as a young professional this summer. I hope I can foster a real sense of community with my roommates and my existing friends in the area who I’m so excited to be nearby again.
Hi Jeff, I appreciate your thoughts/feelings about living in a place, loving it, making a life in it, but not feeling “home.” I moved to SoCal six years ago from my native Ohio, and I often feel those same feelings. Am I an Ohioan or a Californian? I feel as if we were “sent” here, so rather than worry about labels, I guess I should try to create peace, love, and beauty wherever I am and know that’s enough. Thx for the reminder!
Thank you for this piece. As always, absolutely wonderful. I appreciated the link to the pictorial essay that appeared in the Guardian. The photos were stunning. I am guessing many churches have these kinds of unused spaces on their campuses.
I'm encouraged by how my Episcopal Church has evolved to changing times. We have a large campus with several different buildings. Many years ago, our parish rectory was converted to classroom and lab space for the growing day school. Times changed, and the school eventually closed. Recently, we've renovated the marvelous space back to its original purpose: housing. Our new neighbors just moved in. In its new form, it's a sober living home for women in our community who need a fresh start, a place where their children can live with them as they work through recovery. Former classroom space on our campus is now occupied by a thriving preschool operated by an outside organization. There's also a drumming school! We have a large apartment that's being rented to a family at below market rate, something that's welcome in a community with scant affordable housing, and very little housing inventory overall. I live about two blocks from my church, and I love seeing (and hearing!) these neighbors on my daily walks.
Our ED Los Angeles Bishop - John Taylor - is spearheading a movement in consider how we're using underused church space in our diocese, and how we might benefit our communities by shifting use to affordable housing and more. We've just hired a "czar" to work in our diocese to help our parishes effect change around use of our space.
These changing times invite us to imagine new possibilities.
As a transplant from Detroit to Grand Rapids, I loved your comments. Coming from an African-American city to GR was a change, for sure. We retired here to be with our kids and grands, and do enjoy it. I often tell old friends that the surrounding area is conservative and white, but GR itself, along with Kentwood and Wyoming, is fairly diverse, and politically pretty progressive. Our neighborhood is adorned with Black Lives Matters signs and rainbow flags, which we appreciate. Many CRC and Reformed churches are actively seeking to be anti-racist and LBGTQ+ welcoming, even in the midst of denominations (especially the CRC) which are not supportive, expecially of efforts to be welcoming to LBGTQ+. Your continued presence here has surprised me. I am glad you stayed.
Dear Jeff, I grappled with what to write last week and then didn’t. But I will say this week that I am so sorry for the vast divide between what Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers taught about our melting pot and what your experience is. I hope we can move this so we can all belong. In your writing I feel so connected. The aging dog pooping everywhere. The 100+ yo house we lovingly try to honor. The yard of things that refuse to grow (yellow squash and ginger and basil), the things that take over (tomatoes, fava beans and some sort of predatory succulent) and the things we feed to the snails (everything else), the neighborhood where we don’t quite fit but try, the southern food folks try to replicate but oof “nope”. And meanwhile we search in the sorrow and the joy and the loss and the what’s next. Thank you for your words. I pause and read them out loud to my partner and we feel more like we belong.
As Michigander living in Indiana who has spent plenty of time in GR, I love this so much.
I always enjoy your writings, but I live in GR too, so I appreciated what you wrote especially this week. I wouldn't encourage you to go to the zoo (unless you have little kids in tow), or the Ford Museum (unless they have an exhibit you want to see). My favorite spot is Lake MI, maybe an Ottawa county park or my favorite is Pier Marquette. These are not in GR, but it's a big part of why I like living here. If you ever preach in GR, I'd come and listen. I'm a Baptist PK too and it's been a struggle. I admire how you have found your way and still love God.
Love this Jeff❤️👏
I just planted two seven-foot cherry blossom trees and a lilac bush. My hydrangeas got very singed in smokey wind from a fire last year and I wasn't sure they would recover from their blackened canes. This morning I saw the first flower buds!
As a third culture kid, your words today spoke to me.
Five years ago, we moved from the suburbs of Toronto to downtown Ottawa to be closer to our children and grandchildren. So glad we did. Somehow, bring in the nation's capitol makes you feel you're a part of things. And I've found a wonderful church community to be a part of. So, even old people can change, and still feel at home.
Almost two years ago, my husband and I moved from Arizona to Oregon. We’re in our mid-fifties, and many would argue we’re doing it all backwards. We should be moving toward warmth as we age, not away from it. We came here to be close to our daughter and back in the beauty of the Pacific Northwest. No more brown for me!
Hi Jeff, I loved this - as a foreigner/outsider (British but living in Nicaragua for almost 20 years now) this sentence struck a chord deep in my heart 'If no place feels exactly like home, there is an invitation to create a little bit of home wherever you are. Here, we are building a life that suits us.' I feel seen and understood and a little less alone, thank you :)
Love this! "If no place feels exactly like home, there is an invitation to create a little bit of home wherever you are."
My roots in West Texas and Eastern New Mexico felt deep, third-generation, but I know it is laughable to the Mexican heritage of 400+ years elsewhere and for others and the much longer history of the Native people there.
I severed them as deliberately as I could, barring, of course, family visits for Christmas. I once aspired to be a full-fledged Texan but was hired instead in Alabama and then Illinois. Now I am a transplant to a small Southern California city. People picture L.A., but the Inland Empire is much more comfortable with its citrus grove farm history and decrying new young people who don't understand the "real Redlands." I get it, from a small town with a transient Air Force population. The new people come and go. But all that to say, even as beautiful as it is, sitting here under palm trees in perfect summer weather as I type this, it's not home (yet?) either. Even if I could afford a house here (ha!!), I don't think it's home enough to put down roots and binding financial commitments more than a lease year at a time. I did just sign a new one, though. So we'll see in summer 2024 how I feel, but for now, I have a pretty sweet deal and that is enough, year by year, to keep home inside myself and in online community spaces that go with me whatever side of the country I live on.
I was born in Maryland, raised in upstate NY, and lived a bunch of other places before coming to SE KY more than 20 years ago. It is beautiful here and also hard for more reasons than I can list here. This quote from your post described it perfectly: "As much as I am making a home here in Grand Rapids, I still struggle to call Grand Rapids home."
I'm in the interesting position of moving back to my hometown in NC but feeling like an outsider. My husband & I lived in Ohio for 20 years and I still miss it. The first time we drove through the soybean
and corn fields near our home in Xenia I felt like I had come home. We're needed here, but still...
Also, I can't wait to see that wallpaper in your study!
Jeff, Always a treat to read what you are thinking, and what you are up to. D
The passage from Jeremiah was compelling, I’m not sure I’d ever noticed how succinct those words were before. It speaks to me as I prepare to leave the city & state I’ve been in since birth for DC as a young professional this summer. I hope I can foster a real sense of community with my roommates and my existing friends in the area who I’m so excited to be nearby again.